When lawyers prepare themselves for a court case, they research and aggregate as much info as possible from both sides of the case in a fairly comprehensive process called “discovery.”
And when you embark down the road to a new relationship, you should model similar behaviors before making a serious commitment.
And no, I do not believe relationships should be as stressful, judgment-driven or contentious as most hearings. Quite the opposite, in fact. I’m suggesting that the discovery process serves as a good standard in order to ensure you have adequate information to make important decisions, like committing to another person for the rest of your life.
Discovery in a relationship involves questions. It involves research. It involves stepping outside of yourself and your limited view and inviting another in for an exploration of important matters.
Explore a little more about discovery here, which first appeared in the Reno Gazette-Journal. And to hear about a specific question you should ask in the discovery process — before committing to a relationship — come hear my TEDx Talk.