Sexual Futurist™ Blog
Making sacrifices for one's children is healthy and normal; making yourself into a living sacrifice of sexless loneliness is neither.
If you're looking for love here's a tip: stop. Stop looking for love and start looking for life. Life is meant to be shared, if you aren't happy with your life it's irresponsible to try to share it with someone you want to care about.
"If you can't live without her then you can't be with her." - Steven Ing
Not having the right partner is an opportunity, so let's start with a different sort of inventory: What have you learned about yourself and your needs from your past failed relationships?
'Threading the needle,' so to speak, can seem daunting when you're balancing raising your children with sowing the seeds for a fulfilling romantic and sexual life. If you proactively set some ground rules it can make this far less daunting, and even far more empowering for your children.
It's important for parents to emulate the behaviors necessary for a successful relationship. This includes the modest, but regular phenomenon of 'mommy and daddy time.'
After reading Part 1, you've decided that you're going to do it. You're going to talk with your kids about sex. You've accepted that they are good people, that their natural inclination is to do good and not harm to others, so you already know this is going to be a conversation, not a sermon. A process, not an event. A teaching of how to think, not what to think.
Most of us parents feel waaay awkward talking to our children about sex because we have no idea what we're doing. Note: the kids are noticeably creeped out too.
Here are a few no-fail answers to get you and your kids started. Getting the party started: First, ask yourself as a parent if you believe your children are good people who want good for others. Most of us believe in our children so an emphatic "Yes!" means that we really need to focus on a conversation rather than a lesson or, worse yet, a sermon.